Motivational Monday: Issa Vibe (Expectations)
We’ve all been guilty of generating preconceived notions about people. We have compartments in our brains that hold all of our memories. Every time we meet someone new we look for familiar identifiers, then we instantly pull from one of those compartments to conduct a quick analysis. This causes us to judge individuals simply based off of their appearance and our past experiences. It is really hard to separate personal experiences from our thought process but it’s necessary when we’re attempting to make connections. We miss out on a number of connections because we either let our past shield us from making new connections or our vibes offend the individual in the process. We dismiss people simply because of what we “THINK” they’ll be like and that’s just not healthy. How many times have you made this mistake? How many times have you said the statement, “Man you weren’t anything like I thought you would be?” How many times have you heard that statement? Probably a million times huh?! Well what if I told you that every time you prejudge someone you could be throwing away a piece of you that you haven’t discovered? People enter our lives for a reason or a season! They may not stay long but the mission is always to teach others life lessons!
Anytime a thought is created we search for memories to confirm our feelings. We go on a mad witch hunt to find evidence because we just have to prove our point. So naturally we physically look for things that will solidify our evidence! We access that memory from our mental compartment and study it to identify key triggers. These key triggers might be someones style, their appearance, their characteristics, or their interest. These triggers could also be as trivial as the sound of their voice, their mannerisms, or their group of friends. The minute we mentally locate the key triggers we instantly start analyzing that individual until we find something that sets off the alarm. While we're doing all of this FBI work we shutdown and close our minds. Once that alarm starts blaring our defense mechanisms rise like a jail house gate. This process causes us to be standoffish, emotionally unavailable, and checked out. Whatever vibe our belief system puts out is displayed through our actions. Whatever we believe becomes the truth and comes to fruition. Even if we mentally manipulate the situation, we make sure our thoughts match our reality.
I'm convinced that we do all of this work to guard ourselves from reliving a bad experience. The crazy thing about the whole situation is we dwell in the past so much that we unconsciously bring it into our FUTURE. Humans love familiarity because it limits the chances for us to experience pain. We rely heavily on our past experiences to remind us of what we felt so that we can get permission to move forward or fallback. Lets face it we don’t want to experience anything negative. Such as: Rejection, pain, hurt, or disappointment so we shield ourselves. That’s not healthy! Pain is apart of life just like joy! We have to break ourselves from this habit.This is stopping us from truly experiencing LIFE and the BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE living on earth. Shutting down and staying in our shell is causing us to miss out on so many great connections. We aren’t experiencing life because we are to busy avoiding the LIFE!
So we have to stop looking at life through FILTERS and start how do we being open to REALITY! Be fearless and know that although you went through a lot YOU ARE STILL STANDING. What does that tell you? It tells you that you are resilient. It tells you that you can overcome anything life throws at you! It shows you that you have another opportunity to experience life so don't waste it being scared to CONNECT! Your expectations should never be negative. They should NEVER be set in stone! Most importantly they should always be OPEN. Realistically every expectations you have for other people should be thrown out the window. People will only do what they want to do. You can have a million expectations for someone and risk the chance of them not meeting one expectations. It's better to do away with your expectations of what others should be like and just allow yourself to experience them for WHO THEY ARE! Don't make assumptions and judge others based off of your past..... That's not ok! If you just LIVE they'll show you WHO THEY ARE soon enough!
Until next time Stay FOCUSED, Keep GRINDING, and RESPECT THE PROCESS!!!!!
-COACH K
Word of the Week: EXPECTATIONS
Theme of the Week: BET ON YOURSELF THEN DOUBLE DOWN
Scripture of the Week: 1 JOHN 4:12
TOOL OF THE WEEK: ISSA VIBE (It's A Vibe) Expectations (DOWNLOAD TOOL)